Cardi B Wearing Nothing But Watches

Cardi B, who has been slaying the fashion game for going on two years now, somehow manages to dress down and still be completely over-the-top by draping her arms in watches like she’s Edward Second Hands. The lewk is completed by strappy stilettos held to her ankles by, you guessed it, more watches.

She posted the shot to announce that her new song, “Money,” is streaming on all services. At first blush, the image and the song, in which she raps “I like boarding jets/I like morning sex/But nothing in this world that I like more than checks,” aren’t related. But it’s clear that the patron saint of sweater weather, Cardigan B, is playing 4th dimensional chess. She wants checks, to get more money.

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What’s perhaps best about this alarming ensemble is how much it leans into Cardi’s characteristic extra-ness. She’s not just wearing watches as shoe buckles, she’s not just wearing a few more watches than normal, she has completely covered her arms in solid dozen—perhaps even a Cardi Baker’s dozen—blinged out tickers. She’s dressed like the prize patrol at a group retirement party.

Cardi B, giving dime piece timepiece realness, is our greatest Time Lord. Doctor who? Having conquered the pop world, it only makes sense for her to set her sights on taking over bigger projects like the nature of temporal reality.

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